Why is mindset so important? Sit down by the fire & let me tell you a story about a process I see all the time in my coaching experience.
Potential clients (whether its business coaching or personal/physical) will hop on the phone for a 45 minute deep dive into their situation.
This call is designed to help them clarify their real issues, identify where their roadblocks are, define their vision for future success, and plan a route to get there. It’s the most valuable 45 minutes they’re likely to spend for the whole year.It’s exactly the same processes I’ve used to create opportunities for myself that take me around the world, work with the US military, appear on national TV, navigate prolonged high stress environments, and more.
I operate on elite levels and know how to get people there too.At the end of the call the person on the other end of the phone is blown away at how clearly they can see how to make big things happen. It’s so simple.
Then something happens.
Doubt starts to swirl in.
They try to hide it, but I’ve seen it hundreds of times. It takes all sorts of shapes, but it’s the same thing at the core.
A lack of trust.
It can be on either side. Either they don’t trust me to get the results, or they don’t trust themselves to get the results.My side: I’m living proof that these processes work.
I grew up in a single wide trailer on a dirt road, and my parents sometimes had to make the excruciating choice of gas money to get to their factory job, or my lunch money.
Now I travel the world and coach elite performers.I’ve been personally tapped to work with household names you’d recognize for national high profile projects.
I’ve worked with a 2x Boston marathon runner on staying focused despite the pressure. (Sure, she’s my girlfriend, but that further supports my points of elites.)I don’t rely on abstract anecdotes, or ‘some research seems to suggest.” I know, from extended personal experience, and by seeing results of my clients of how powerful these processes are.
I walk the walk and so do my clients.That leaves the ball in their court.
Here’s their play. It always sounds like this:
“Sounds great, but I need to work on X before I’m ready.”
That’s what fear looks like. They’re afraid of facing the fact that all their hard work hasn’t worked. And that success can be simple.It’s a direct challenge to their identity as a capable person who can solve problems.
The result? The lullabies.
“I’ll try yoga when I’m more flexible.”
“I’ll go to the gym when I lose weight.”
“I’ll meditate when I calm down.”
It’s tough to watch.They’re advocating for their own weakness. They’re holding onto their blinders. Preferring, instead, to stay in their cave of shapes and shadows instead of walking out into the open space and light of knowledge.
As a coach, advisor, or mentor you desperately want them to succeed. You’ve been where they are. You know exactly what needs to happen to get them out of it.
But you can’t force them.
It has to be their choice to pull themselves out of it.You can build the door. Point it out to them. Open it. Walk through it. Show them that it’s safe. No boobie-traps.
But they still have to walk through. You can share all the wisdom in the world, but you can’t understand it for them.And they don’t know how much of this you’re seeing. They don’t know you can see straight through the fog in their mind. Their doubts about you.
It’s like you have infrared vision that can see straight to the heart of the matter.
And it’s them.What’s the moral of the story?
Most often, failure to succeed isn’t due to external circumstances. It stems from believing your own lies about why you’re not capable of doing what you want to do. Those who know better are desperately cheering for you to climb out of it.That’s why you’re often your own worst enemy. It’s the person looking back at you in the mirror that’s keeping you from what you want. It’s your own mindset that’s telling you that if shit were actually that easy you would have figured it out by now.
Those beliefs & mindset have kept more people off the winner’s stand than actual performance ability ever has.
You’re capable. You’re powerful. You’re near-infinite potential.
But if your mind tells you otherwise, you’re going to believe the limits; not the achievements.